I was just looking through several albums from the past. I seem to be growing up really fast, much quicker than I have expected and wanted. I'm afraid my growing so quickly will not have prepared me enough for the daunting future. But then we can never be totally prepared. How do we find the courage to always be true to ourselves- even if we are unsure of who we are?
When I was six, I really liked barbie dolls, polly pockets and dancing
When I was twelve, I loved going for camps, playing the piano and dancing.
When I was sixteen, I thought I was going to stop dance for awhile but I didnt.
When I was eighteen, I preferred outdoor sports and dance to indoor activities which my mum preferred, albeit I did stop dancing for sometime.
Now that I'm turning twenty, I'm split among academia and work and dance. I don't really have much leisure time left except for dance.
Will I forget about dancing someday?
I hope it is the memories which make growing up worthwhile.
Pictures from a long time ago:
- Mood:
tired
Chaston: Teacher, I want to urinate.
Me: Are you sure you want to urinate?
Chaston: Yes.
Ser Hwee : Miss Marlene, I want to go to the toilet.
Laura: Teacher, I want to go to the toilet.
Me: Alright, anybody else wants to go to the toilet?
Me to Royce who was the only toddler left at the table: Royce, do you need to go to the toilet?
Royce shakes his head.
Me: Wow, that's self-discipline for a four-year old!
And we all went for a walk to the restroom!
On a sidenote, it has been raining so much the past few days that I'm tempted to get wellington boots. LOL! I really don't like the feeling of getting my foot wet:(( More sunny days please!!
Meanwhile, more mugging for me till the finals! Jiayous for everyone who's reading!
It has been ages since I last posted. Many a time I wanted to write an entry, I was afraid all the mundaneness and negativity would affect the mood of the people reading, albeit not sure if there is still any since I'm such a slow author.
Anyway, here's an update! School has been crazily hectic but the modules I'm taking this semster have been really interesting especially Clinical Psychology. I really adore my lecturer! She's my new found idol<33
I just started volunteering with my UB friends for a monthly arts event with YMCA known as Y ARTS. Y STARS, which mainly comprises young adults with Down's Syndrome will gather every weekend to dance and engage in craft activity. The volunteers' job is to interact with them and help them along. It certainly is a rewarding experience and it helps to keep me in check so that I don't complain and rant too much because I know there is alot more people out there who are having a tougher time than me.
Still, I can't help not feeling depressed lol. Throughout the semester, I've been bugged by the same issue time and again. For the past few days, it has hit me harder. Since young, I knew I had to give my best in everything because I wasn't as smart as my peers. I hope through hard work, it will at least help put me back onto an equal footing as the others. And so I took everything seriously and I wanted the best for everything; in studies, in dance and everything else.
Yet, it still hurts alot to fail time after time. Sometimes I feel that I am not as lucky as the others even though I know luck is just an excuse. I try to reassure myself that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. But with each disappointment, I get demoralised and I'll start to think that I'm simply not good enough and that no matter how hard I work, I'll not be able to achieve the things I want. And I'm worried that this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know I need to become better but I don't know how to do it. It's just the feeling of working hard and not getting any recognition or motivation to go on.
How casual a grumble.
Anyway, here's an update! School has been crazily hectic but the modules I'm taking this semster have been really interesting especially Clinical Psychology. I really adore my lecturer! She's my new found idol<33
I just started volunteering with my UB friends for a monthly arts event with YMCA known as Y ARTS. Y STARS, which mainly comprises young adults with Down's Syndrome will gather every weekend to dance and engage in craft activity. The volunteers' job is to interact with them and help them along. It certainly is a rewarding experience and it helps to keep me in check so that I don't complain and rant too much because I know there is alot more people out there who are having a tougher time than me.
Still, I can't help not feeling depressed lol. Throughout the semester, I've been bugged by the same issue time and again. For the past few days, it has hit me harder. Since young, I knew I had to give my best in everything because I wasn't as smart as my peers. I hope through hard work, it will at least help put me back onto an equal footing as the others. And so I took everything seriously and I wanted the best for everything; in studies, in dance and everything else.
Yet, it still hurts alot to fail time after time. Sometimes I feel that I am not as lucky as the others even though I know luck is just an excuse. I try to reassure myself that what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. But with each disappointment, I get demoralised and I'll start to think that I'm simply not good enough and that no matter how hard I work, I'll not be able to achieve the things I want. And I'm worried that this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know I need to become better but I don't know how to do it. It's just the feeling of working hard and not getting any recognition or motivation to go on.
How casual a grumble.
- Mood:
depressed
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